Our Stories

Love Beyond Brokenness

Meet Augustine Tee and his former residents of The Salvation Army’s children’s home, Gracehaven, Marcus and Matthias. They look up to Augustine and affectionately address him as “kor”, the Chinese dialect for “brother”.

 

Marcus and Matthias were both sent to Gracehaven when they were 12 years old. Today, Marcus is 23 while Matthias is 22. They are a band of brothers who journeyed the past decade together. Gracehaven cares for children and youth who need out-of-home care, protection or rehabilitation due to a lack of parental supervision, risk behaviours and family breakdowns.

Marcus was admitted to Gracehaven under the, then-voluntary admission. He grew up not having much knowledge of his birth father and had little contact with his mother who was incarcerated for drugs consumption. Marcus was brought up by his grandmother throughout his growing up years. However, an unfortunate event happened that admitted him into Gracehaven.

Marcus was easily triggered by his surroundings. He was a boy with low self-esteem and had few friends because of trust issues. He also didn’t see why he should be on his best behaviour because he had no one who cared.

They are not alone

 

Children facing adversities can feel a lot of hopelessness and loneliness. Augustine shared, “I told Marcus that he couldn’t change his past, but he had his bare hands to create his own future and no one could do that for him.”

Even if he did not have his birth parents with him, he had God as his father and many in the church community as his uncles and aunties.

“I must become better”

 

It took Marcus a while to adapt, but having the routine and the care and attention from the staff in Gracehaven encouraged him. He told himself that he must become better and true enough, the fruits of his labour finally paid off, “I became more disciplined and was promoted from the normal to express stream after a year,” Marcus proudly shared.

 

The present Marcus is a confident young man, considerate and very generous to others and shows a level of maturity beyond his years.

My faith played a huge part in the change in me. The church community was my pillar of support which uplifted and affirmed me whenever I was feeling down. They were also there to hold me accountable for my actions, and I did not want to break the trust.

Marcus added, “You come to learn that there will be conflicts, you just have to agree to disagree. Learn not to let disagreements and any emotions you may have at that point in time affect your friendships. Learn to work with people, in a team, to build healthy relationships. That shaped me and my behaviour in communities I’m placed in, be it school or work, and how I interact with people.”

Without the Gracehaven’s intervention in my life, I don’t think I will become who I am today.

“Gracehaven understands that changes cannot be introduced abruptly. Changes must be introduced systematically and gradually to be effective. The positive reinforcement helped my personal development, and the progressive, systematic intervention strengthened the relationship with my god-grandmother who is now my legal guardian,” shared Marcus.

 

“It’s important for donors and sponsors to realise it’s not just the money that’ll help. No doubt funds are important, but what’s more important is the organisation you give funds to must use the resources for an organised, systematic programme that provides well-planned interventions and gives the child hope.”

 

Marcus’ encouragement

When you’re growing up, you’ll not be far sighted enough to think what you’ll do ten years down the road. In fact, you’ll just be living day by day. To get through each day, you need to believe things will get better. You need to know people believe in you and are willing to give you a chance.

Marcus graduated from Temasek Polytechnic and has started working full-time. He remains grateful to his god-grandma for her care and they share a close bond to this day.

Matthias, who used to share a room with Marcus while they were at Gracehaven, was brought in under the “Family Guidance Order” after he ran away from home and played truant from school frequently over three years. Back then, his parents were mainly busy at work providing for the family, which led to a lack of parent-child communication. His parents then decided to apply for a “Family Guidance Order” through the Police. Matthias was subsequently sent to Singapore Boys’ Home for a month before being brought to Gracehaven for a two-year stay.


“At first I was angry, sad and scared,” said Matthias. “But I gradually grew to love the structured living at Gracehaven. When I was granted home stay during the two years, I didn’t want to go home sometimes. I even became known as the boy who doesn’t like to go home!”


Matthias admitted he had anger management issues, which he believed started as early as he was eight or nine years old when he would be belted by his father whom he couldn’t get along with. While at Gracehaven, he decided to change.

The change

 

“At Gracehaven, I could no longer skip school or hang out with friends who were of bad influence. Tuition was also arranged for me as my results were bad. And because of that, my schoolwork improved and my desire to change increased!

I wanted to pick myself up so that I can fulfill my dream of becoming a software engineer and find my place in society.

Matthias shared that he started to enjoy studying and also learnt how to show empathy towards others and control his temper. He is happy that now he has a better relationship with his parents and brothers. They would often go for family outings together now.

“Someone was there for me”

“I still call Augustine regularly and we go out for dinner sometimes. I count him as one of my mentors because he was always there for me, and was very encouraging,” Matthias added.

We celebrate with Matthias as he has just completed his studies in Ngee Ann Polytechnic with As and Bs, and is awaiting enlistment into National Service. He also plans to enrol in a local university to study Computer Science thereafter to pursue his dreams.